day +8

So this has been what's going down:

Lots of fevers, antibiotics, cultures, diarrhea, pain, throwing up, not eating or drinking, frequent dressing changes. We have a very sad, sick, and tired little boy.

I can't wait until all of this is over. I'm pretty sure Adam is feeling the same way. I read in a fellow NB mom's blog that she found comfort in knowing that this day was never going to have to be done again. Amen, sister. Amen. Everyone said prepare for the worst, hope for the best. No, not us. We won't have to go through the ugly time. It won't really happen. We are invincible.

Wrong-o. God keeps proving over and over to us that we really aren't. I am in the "angry" stage today. Why him?? Why to a three year old who has not experienced -anything-? Why to my three year old with the most tender, joyful spirit? Why not me? I've been places, seen and done things. I'm the one that should have to endure this pain. Not him. I fear that he will be forever broken.  I fear that he will have trust issues for the rest of his life. I fear that he won't get to experience life the same way as his brother...one way or another. My poor, sweet boy. My heart is broken, and then is broken over and over again. Yet the world keeps spinning. People keep moving. Aren't you all supposed to stop too?

Okay, breathe. Out of bed. Time for day +8 to start.

We love you all.

Please pray for my niece as well. She has been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and is still in the hospital.
Pray for strength for my sister in law as she has had to learn how to advocate for her baby as well as  start to learn a whole new way of life.

Thank you, dear ones.